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Friday, January 7th, 2005
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| Time: | 12:57 am. |
| Mood: |  meowr. | | Music: | my funny valentine- billie holiday. |
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Which HERO (Ying Xiong) Character Are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla
huwaaaaw. first entry of the year. first entry since october four.
ok, the part about being devoted is true, but i don't think i'm vengeful at all.
ok so sometimes i think of ways to bother people just for fun, but that doesn't count, does it?
hafi nu year fifols.
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Monday, October 4th, 2004
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| Time: | 6:48 pm. |
| Mood: |  tickled. | | Music: | God gave rock and roll to you- kiss. |
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aside from the ginormous change that is now my hair, i've also moved journals.
so, you better add me or else......... i will cry. hehehehe.
it's thecuteonekills. go! go! add me now :)
let's just say... to me appearance is nothing.
people are never ever ever what they seem. (OW! MY SISTER JUST SCREAMED INTO MY EAR!! HAHAHA!! YAY! SHE LOVES MY HAIR! the first to actually scream ecstatically today...)
you know how they say that you have to watch out for the quiet ones? it's somewhat a reminder of that. and so the cute, unassuming one could be holding a dagger behind her/his back.
or the next time you spend time with someone who talks a lot, take some time to see if in their silence they say more.
or or or watch out for the nice, friendly girls who can turn into monsters once you turn your back (Mean Girls was not based on nothing!)
or that really cute slick-tongued fella who can talk his way out of (or into) anything. tsk tsk.
i don't know why i'm into this whole change thing. haha. well,
i guess this journal is just so... full. not that i take anything back, but i'd like to change all aspects of my life right now.
i hope you know, on a senti note, that the whole time i was being honest, and that you probably know me better than a lot of people who i talk to on a daily basis. when i write, it's always been about what's really going on... in, um, real life, i can act so easily. i mean, it's so simple to smile and laugh or pretend. but when it comes to writing, i can't escape the urge to purge! haha!
anyway. so there. do add me :) and check out my layout too! heehee.
and by the way,
sobrevivo means "i survive".
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rozie! gorg! tasyo!
ummm......
it's THIS short
.......................................................
HOLY KAMOTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and this was the first chunk that was chopped off:
i cannot believe cannot cannot cannot cannot believe i actually went through with it! oh my! oh boy! kamote fries!
my heart hurts!!!!!!!! waaaaaahhh!!!!!
but i HAD to to it... i was thinking about it all weekend and all day and now THERE'S NO TURNING BACK!
my dad keeps on saying:
"who's that stranger? who's that boy??"
waaaaaaaaaaaaaah. he liked me with long hair.
and si ate lyn, our helper:
"HAHAHAHA!!! ANONG GINAWA MO?! BAKIT KA NAGPAGUPIT? nanghihinayang ako sa dami ng tinanggal mo."
sabay bawi
"pero bagay siya! bagay!"
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
do you hate it?
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Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
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all things come to an end, they say.
all things MUST come to an end.
*************
at jenna's farewell party, my friends miko (the angel aquino look-alike) and her boyfriend don came to visit me. hehehe. nice face don :)
meghann (owner of the home where jen had her party) and her main man, mik.
jenna's beautiful best friend, myri!
this is what you find in a rich person's guest bathroom.
and this, ladies and gentlemen, is jenna. my childhood mischief-partner, who is leaving on friday.
bye jen jen.
huhuhuhuhuhu.
yesterday i spent some time with anna (man you should hear this girl SING) and her lovely best friend, sarah (and her VERY flourescent pink bag).
had a great time cupps :) heehee. ssshhh... let's keep our undercover business... undercover.
this is 47 tucanae. i think it's a star cluster. or a galaxy, i'm not so sure. i got it from this site... oops i forgot the addy. lagot.
a picture of my new haircut.
but it's not staying like that for long.
i'm chopping it all off.
goog nayg!
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Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
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my parents went off to play badminton with a couple of other old people. HAHAHAHAHA. just kidding. i love those who are... advanced in age. they are so cute.
anyway, when i saw my dad packing their rackets and my mom tying her shoelace, i groggily said "nako. mamaya pag uwi niyo masakit na ang mga binti niyo sigurado. hindi na sanay sa ehersisyo! stretch before and after the game!"
for some reason they found it funny. hrm. i don't even know why i said it. it must have been the....
my sister woke me up early, cos she had to get her phone from my room, which was locked. why was it locked. i forgot.
anyway, i woke up early, around 7, and i have not stopped using the computer since. this is my first free saturday.
my arm hurts.
went to jenna's farewell party last night. she's leaving friday next week. myri (her best friend since forever) and i (her childhood kikay partner) are dropping her off at the airport.
huhuhuhuhu.
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Friday, October 1st, 2004
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(chingkit, billie and i)
I
(nothing beats a massage on the beach. nikki, mom and me)
WANT
(diving with dad at PG)
MY
(jay's birthday. raoul, jay, moi, chingks, um.. i forgot and erik)
OWN
(erik, preparing... apparently nothing. haha.)
ISLAND.
JOIN
ME?
i used to live 15 minutes from the beach, when i was still
in cebu. you could take a trike.
oh sem break! come faster!
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psycho shiznit, you are very, very welcome :) i love your latest entry! waah. it reminded me that you're still very much around although it's not anywhere near me... ok lang. hehe. remember everything we talked about..
*****
i remember back in junior year gorg invited me to help out at a drop-in center for homeless kids.
steph: "gorg! come with me! let's help out at Kandungan!"
me: "huh? kandungan?"
steph: "yeah, it's a drop in center for kids. we can give them food and play games with them."
me: "a drop-in center called Kandungan?"
tita nanette (steph's mom) in the background: "stephanie it's kanLUngan not kandungan."
steph: "ay. hehehe. gorg kanlungan pala."
me: *guffawing and rolling around in laughter.
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HOY ang feeling mo ah! wag ka na. alis diyan.
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white cheese pizza, freshly toasted. chunky, oily, lovely, delicious.
two hours of sleep.
two papers to write.
it's almost one am.
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you know adi, just have to say. you're so much fun to be malabo with during the wee hours of the morning. hekhekhek.
the world must weigh so heavily on your pinky.
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i have been meaning to post about all the weird, believe-it-or-not things that i have seen. for some reason, the strangest things happen to me. hinahabol ako!
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PHILO TEST. three hours of brain squeezing heart wrenching kalyo creating essay writing. one question:
through a reflection on ownership, how is the clash between john and alma resolved?
ABA. sumagot ako ng sumagot. pero di ko alam kung tama. nakakatawa.
umihi si yna sa boy's batrum kanina! i kept watch. ihing-ihi na siya eh, tapos locked na yun banyo ng gerls. rarr. ang saya!
=====
"the night at the casino-- i wouldn't have made love to you. even if you had consented to go upstairs. i couldn't have made love to you.
i'm more afraid of your soul than you're afraid of my body. you'd have been safe as the angel of the fountain--because i wouldn't feel decent enough to touch you..."
--Summer and Smoke
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Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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it's amazing how easy it is to waste time when you are in school.
i've been free since 930am, and my test in philo is still at 6. i decided to hang out at the assoc bench, since the boys have a table (so i could read up) and it was easy to spot people i knew from there, so i had no problems with company.
sooooobrang init talaga. as in. nakaluluma. as in it's like, so grabe like, i don't know why it's so init. my anit is hot! as in like.
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there's a difference between caring and being judgemental. and there's definitely a difference between people who care, and those who pretend they do.
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the reason why friends become friends is they can tell each other exactly what they think, they tell you that what you are doing is wrong, and they say just how they see things without pressuring you to be just like them or to handle things the way they do.
they say "you're being stupid" without making you feel like the scum of the earth. they tell you that they think you are making the wrong decision without making judgements about your character.
i know what i know. i may not always seem like the most holy person, but i grew up with people who love God, who live for God, and have devoted their lives to GOd. i KNOW what you know. so don't talk to me like i don't. i'm not complete yet, and i will never be perfect, not until i die and am rid of this body and its thorn. but everyday i change. everyday i am renewed. i may not be as fast as you, not as great as you, but don't judge me. and most especially, do not judge those who have never left my side, despite and maybe BECAUSE of how i am.
my leaders, i've told them everything i've done. they know about my past, and they know about my present situation.
and not once did they look down on me. not once did they point fingers at me. and because of this, i have come to love others that way too.
but the moment, just one moment, that you treat me like a lower being, then i'd rather walk away than waste another minute trying to explain myself to those who pose judgements before even asking,
"how are you?"
because no one ever has the right to make you feel like you are unloveable.
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i don't know how this started. i don't know why it has to be like this. i don't know why suddenly it's about us.
it never was.
and now i'd rather it never will be.
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Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
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| Subject: | for my angel |
| Time: | 4:53 pm. |
| Mood: | mingawon ko sa akong amiga!. | | Music: | mistakes we knew we were making- straylight run. |
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there are two people i consider my best friends.
there's gorg, who i'm sure you have read about here. though i don't see her a lot, i still know that the connection is not, and will never be, severed.
then there's gelai, who had to leave us for the States. this entry is for her, because her heart is broken.
and if you knew her, and saw just how beautiful and big and wonderful her heart is, you would understand just how unfair it is that she's crying herself to sleep. because she deserves all of the lovely and star-studded things of this world.
angeli, you are beautiful. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. and what makes you stronger makes you beautiful. this is just a reminder of what awaits you here, and what will never, ever disappear.
 this is my favoritestestest picture of geli bean! smushed in between ramon and chingkit! heeheeheehee! tapos yung mata ni karla nasingit pa sa likod oh myyyyy di ko ma take!!!!!!!!!
 remember this?? eat-all-you-can at padi's point bf!! oh boy! notice how we're the only girls? hehe says a LOT doesn't it? tapos willy had to tell us that they ran out of bbqs!! mga patay gutom! (i had 22 barbeques babe... baboy talaga!)
 yihee, CAT days! remember how we smushed eggs on each other's heads? PARE! ang baho ng buhok ko pagkatapos nun. tapos yung sand fight natin na PEBBLE fight pala. after all of the peltings i received from you, NEVER AGAIN. rarr. mud wrestling nalang muli.
 wahahahah! if until today we still stole green mangoes from the field, i would have the perfect name for us:
MANGONAKAWS!
hahahahahaha gets??? as in, "hoy! hulihin ang mga mangonakaw na yan!" hahahahahah!
wish i thought of that back in senior year!
and these people geli, the ones in the next picture, THEY LOVE YOU. hindi pa nga kumpleto yan eh! wala pa si jay si marvin si mehdi at napakarami pang iba...
but of course, you cannot forget this girl down there... that alien looking lady. she loves you with the fire of a thousand suns. and accepts you for all that you are. for your wonderful and annoying little quirks, and for everything else that you are.
don't worry, we'll watch all the broadway shows you want. soon enough.
i miss you every. single. day.
laugh now. laugh your boisterous gelai laugh. remember the shapes that the clouds take, and smell of the soccer field. and the sound of the rustling trees. and all the stars we wished on. hold on to God. He will never, EVER disappear. have your night, have your day.
then dust yourself off and walk again. you WILL walk again. i know you will.
te quiero mi querida. para siempre.
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*girlish girlish giggle
i don't giggle. but.
*girlish girlish giggle
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today has been a pretty awesome day! alam niyo, astig. God moves right when you least expect Him to. i think when you just allow Him, He really will. you don't even have to plan it. you wake up in the morning, commit your day into His all-knowing hands, and live. live for Him.
and it's amazing where God brings you. really. you cannot describe it. the joys of being... unaware of yourself. of just LEAPING. not having to understand just... believing. God works that way, i think. hard to understand at first... but, understanding comes after obedience so... take that leap of faith.
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my heart feels like it's about to burst. i'm going crazy :)
today, i was called psycho. hahahaha! i love it. i was at seattle's best, studying with dean and macky, and i said
"dean, i'm so glad i have my best friend. i can tell her anything, all of my psycho ideas and thoughts and she still loves me anyway."
"eh kris lahat naman ng tao sinasabihan mo ng psycho ideas mo eh!"
*silence
"ano ka. wala pa nga yung mga nasasabi ko sayo eh. sane pa ako sa lagay na yun. hehehehe."
"ganon? *silence* talaga? di ko alam yun ah."
wala na, eto na talaga ang confirmation na weird nga talaga ako! mehn. haha.
NEVER BE ORDINARY ;)
===========================
maui, thanks ulit ha! sa cds! yay! sana ok na yung thesis mo!
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anna cupps, thank you for making my morning lovely :)
because of anna, i have become more passionate about
dropping out of school.
HAHAHAHA.
and taking up belly dancing.
and flamenco.
and capoeira.
and then writing to feed myself.
and finish my painting lessons.
and take up guitar lessons (after i get penny back from billie).
and audition for plays.
and learn how to surf. and get my diving license.
and work hard so i can be on broadway (with you cupps!)
and then sing in bars at night to make a little money.
and manage bands.
sigh.
i do not want to write another paper again.
well. welcome to real life. must finish :) it's a beautiful morning. Thank You God i'm here. i'm alive! i'm breathing. i'm free.
sigh. one day.
i would have already chased all of those dreams.
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Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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| Subject: | oh and oh! |
| Time: | 8:31 pm. |
| Mood: |  makulit ang anit ko!. | | Music: | i won't stay long- sixpence none the richer. |
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i cut my hair :)
meowwrr.
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WAAAAH! grabe!!! it's a sign!
i was searching google for auditions for upcoming stage plays. and then when i typed in "trumpets playshop auditions" guess what?
one of the sites that popped up was </a></b></a>![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tymeless 's old site wherein she put the songs we used for our play, "Putting It Together", and the edited versions. we had to edit them to fit our theme.
now you know how people only see the final product when it comes to stage plays right? so we decided to show them what happens behind the scenes. clever, eh? it's basically cut down to four parts: The Narrators, The Auditions, The Rehearsals and The Final Product. hehehe. i'm proud to say that so far, no class has outdone that play. we were taught by tita menchu (lauchengco-yulo) and monique villa (we love you. we know you're resting in His arms now).
i played an auditioner, a girl who couldn't sing. rarr. and this was my wonderful and funny song! maaan. if you heard me sing it... lagot. hahaha. it was supposed to be sung off-key, which i did without any trouble ;) whether that's a good thing, i do not know. *comment is hogi's (i didn't put in all of the lyrics, but this is enough to give you the gist. fun!!)
SING
("A Chorus Line")
KRISTINE
See, I really couldn't sing
I could never really sing
What I couldn't do was...
AL
Sing!
KRISTINE
I have trouble with the...
AL
Notes!
KRISTINE
It goes all around my...
AL
Throat!
KRISTINE
It's a terrifying...
AL
Thing!
KRISTINE
See, I really couldn't hear
Which note was lower or was...
AL
Higher!
KRISTINE
Which is why I disappear
If someone says, "Let's start a...
AL
Choir!"
KRISTINE
Hey, when I begin to...
AL
Shriek!
KRISTINE
It's a across between I...
AL
Squeak!
KRISTINE
And a quiver or I...
AL
Moan!
KRISTINE
It's a little like a...
AL
Croak!
KRISTINE
Or the record player...
AL
Broke!
KRISTINE
What it doesn't have is...
AL
Tone!
KRISTINE
Oh, I know you're thinking what a crazy...
AL
Ding-a-ling
KRISTINE
But I really couldn't...
AL
Sing!
KRISTINE
I could never really...
AL
Sing!
KRISTINE
What I couldn't do was...
AL sing!
NOTE: This is one of the songs we used in the show's audition scene. In "A Chorus Line" it was about a girl who couldn't sing because she was always off-key, so her husband, Al, had to sing the end notes for her. In our own show, it's about a girl (coincidentally, the girl who played this part was also named Kristine) who auditions for the show, but starts to have second thoughts when she learns that she was supposed to sing. She sings the song on her own, with the final words going way off-key. (I even auditioned for this role with Kris, but she pulled it off really well that we unanimously chose her to play the part.)
*****
hek hek hek. i lurve it!
playshop people reunion tayo!
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HI GUYS!!!!!!!!!
i'm so happy guys!!!!!!
guys do you know why i'm happy guys?!?!?!?
last night, for the first time in what, a month? my family and i ate together. we had a decent, lovely dinner together! my parents are semi-talking (medyo may hiya hiya pa daw), and we had a good talk about the fakeness of our independence day.
last night, for the first time in two weeks, i heard my sister guffaw! as in laugh like a silly goat! and if you've ever heard her laugh, you will lav her. she has a great contagious laugh. it's like, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! and AHIHIHIHIHIH! and sometimes it's WOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO. serious. i really love it :) i was pooping and i could hear her all the way on my throne and i was like "yiheee!"
last night, for the first time in a long long time, i opened up to my mom. i told her about what's been going on in my head and heart and this whole thing with jay visiting me at home. and it was good. she was listening intently and supporting me. galing.
GOD STILL MOVES MOUNTAINS.
and today, my mom gave me the biggest mommy hug. and daddy gave me baon. hahahahaha.
i slept at 10 last night! not 9pm like i promised but 10 is good!
waaaah i'm not ready for the history test! ambeth ocampo! parang awa mo na!!
huwag niyo ng pasayawin si sandara!!!!!!!!
anyway, gotta go and bathe and then pick up the carpool people. i have... 6 minutes and time starts now.
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Monday, September 27th, 2004
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it was ok. except for the millions of sneezing fits. and the crunchy sound of noseblowing.
the fgd went well. had lots of donuts.
i'm so tired. my body is one limp vegetable. i just realized that i haven't eaten a single decent meal today. i'm going to sleep early tonight. 9pm, dapat i'm in bed na.
that's a huge leap from 2am. i hope i don't toss and turn. i hate tossing and turning.
it's orange outside.
my head is so drowsy. have a unit test in history again tomorrow. huhuhuhu. i'm gonna die. have to read 6 chapters and a reading later.
i had a good day! why do i not sound happy! it's the mucus in my head!
I FOUND MY BELOVED PENCIL CASE IN COCO'S CONDO!
me: THAT'S MY PENCIL CASE! *pointing to the wonderful black mesh pencil case on the coffee table
mick (coco's boyfriend): hindi ah, kay belay yan.
me: NO! THAT'S MY PENCIL CASE!
mick: hindi, kay belay yan.
me: NO! THAT'S MY PENCIL CASE! see that's my eraser and that's my sharpener and that's my hot pink pair of scissors and that's MY FAVORITE PEN!
mick: ah ok eh di sayo nga yan.
as you can see, i am very much attached to my pencil case. complete kasi yun eh.. and i've had it since freshman year!
why is it that when you're not looking for something that's when it shows up?
had a great chat with cox today (at 12am!).
remember, do one thing a day. one thing that scares you! it's doable ok ok ok.
i think i'm going to bathe now. is it bad to take a shower if you have a bad cold and you're sneezing? oh well. i want to take a bath anyhoos. rarr :)
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Sunday, September 26th, 2004
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i have not stopped sneezing. i'm getting really tired of sneezing. my throat is getting tired and scratched. my eyes won't stop tearing up. my stupid nose is running.
STOP!! I DON'T WANT TO SNEEZE ANYMORE!
AAAUUGGGH. just finished a sneezing fit.
huhuhuhuhu. i hate getting sick. may FGD pa kami bukas, dun sa may CTC jungle. rarr.
ini lamig init lamig init lamig. bad shot tong weather na to.
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You know, God still moves mountains. and He brings people to you, people who need advice or a comforting word or a gentle but firm rebuke, He brings them right when what you have just learned personally is exactly what they need.
like today, my friend went up to me and said,
"if you knew what i have really been doing, you're going to be so mad."
i said, "hello, it takes a lot to get me SO mad. and i'm not going to judge you just cos you're not exactly being good right now. ano ako, Diyos. di ko karapatan yun. spill."
to make a long story short:
"my boyfriend has a problem with substance abuse. he's lasinggero. and although i don't really love him, i stay with him because i can't leave him right now, because he needs me. *insert justification here*"
gaaaah. my heart broke. the most terrible line is "i can't leave him because he needs me."
can you imagine staying with someone because you HAVE to?
that's absolutely terrible. not just for you, but for your partner.
you're not even complete, and then you want to complete another?
it doesn't make sense.
i hope the talk that we had encouraged her though... and caused her to think. sigh.
alcohol is so dangerous when abused.
=====================================================
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bad habit to break #4) thinking too much. stop pretending to be a CSI or an investigator.
one thing does NOT have to be connected to the other.a
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| Subject: | naks! |
| Time: | 6:54 am. |
| Music: | letting go. forgot the name of the artist.. |
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binisita nga pala ako ni jay sa bahay kagabi! AY!
hindi ko nga pala nakukwento yung mga nangyayari.
huwag mag-alala, hindi kami. hehehe.
pero people change, and i can see an effort to change. and i think each person deserves a chance, as a person.
he says he still... has feelings for me, but i'm so glad that he's not pursuing me. i'm glad that he's learning to be alone.
because i am too. and i like where i am right now. i like what God's doing with my heart. i like this pruning and every day kurot sa singits and me going "ay! ano ba yan kris! fix your life!"
ang sarap kasi na nakikita mo yung pagiging tao mo, pero nakikita mo rin na araw araw binabago ka ng Diyos. Deus.
anyway masaya kagabi, nakiupo siya sa sala at sinamahan kami ni nikki and ni daddy na manuod ng Legally Blond. i've watched that movie too many times... i caught myself saying the lines along with the characters. hek hek hek. yun lang, kumain kami ng dinner with the family (medyo awkward si jay kasi matagal na niyang hindi nagagawa yun.)
pero masaya, simple. alam mo. totoo siyang kaibigan. hindi siya oo ng oo sa akin. kung masama yung sinabi ko o mali yung pag-iisip ko, sinasabi niya. pero hindi niya pinaparamdam sa akin na "hala lagot ka ang sama sama mong tao."
ok naman. medyo weird i-kwento dito... pero yun. kakausapin niya nga yung leaders ko sa church... kasi gusto niyang bumalik sa church. pero kailangan hindi na siya nakadikit sa akin! hehehe.
i'm praying that the faith is real. that the change is constant.
people change.
hindi ko alam. siguro 5 years from now, pwede ko ulit isipin si jay na... possibilty. pero ngayon, WALANG LALAKI. hehehe. ayoko sa inyo!
joke lang :D
masayang kaibigan ang lalaki. pag minsan nga mas ok pa sa babae! pero, pag romantic ek ek na, ay nako.
ayoko ng romantic ek ek. well, for now.
sweet nga ni jay eh, when he got home, he texted me this "i'm home na! i had a great time, i hope you were happy too. good night. DON'T FORGET TO TAKE A BATH! sweet dreams :)"
pare! mukha kasi akong tae nung pumunta siya dito eh! hehehe. pinapaligo ba naman ako... grabe na to.
pero i had a nice time... usap lang ng usap. astig nga eh, kasi ngayon, totoo na usapan namin. parang magkaibigan talaga. as jinggay would spell it, "kewl". hehehehehehehe.
sana kausapin na ni mom si dad.
nood kaming bourne supremacy today! yay! sana marekindle na yung love for boxing and capoeira ko! gusto kong mag capoeira! sa makati meron! woohoo! ang mahal!
kaya belly dancing lang muna... mas mura eh. rarr.
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when i stayed at the condo for summer, and it would get very hot during the afternoons, i would wash the dishes in a bikini. pero pagminsan hindi pa matching yung top at bottom, kasi gusto kong tumawa si jenna. may kasama pa akong song number, accompanied by dance moves. i'd listen to the MOVE ON WITH LIFE cd that gorg (thanks!) made for me every. single. day. hahaha.
 (tingnan mo nga naman to si jenna. ang dami ko ng pose, siya ngiti lang ng ngiti. well, wise siya, at least di sya nagmumukhang eng eng tulad ko. hehehe)
i just remembered it cos i'm listening to it now. wow... my days in burgundy were the saddest yet most exciting. i felt so... detached. it was summer so there weren't a lot of people. we didn't have a landline. our cellphones only had signal in one corner. and this was a huge condo ha! a huge dead spot for globe! we were technically separated from the world... aside from the world that i got to know that summer. haha. except for those who made an effort to come see us. yihee. kinikilig ako. memories. ew.
hahaha. nakakamiss yung trike (mis)adventures ko. i met one billion people that summer. did one gazillion things. and learned the most important, fundamental lesson.
I am loved by One who was sacrificed for me.
Jesus loves me. He loves me and He always will. He came here for sinners. He dined with prostitutes and tax collectors, His most amazing apostle was a Christian Killer before he was changed by God.
and by the way, apostle Paul, one of Jesus' strongest and most faithful, had a thorn on his side. HE had a thorn on his side. a frailty... a human-ness. cos he was that! he never pretended to be perfect, or to never be tempted. he even WROTE ABOUT BEING HUMAN. he was NOT ASHAMED to tell his people that YES, i have my weaknesses. yes i still make mistakes.
i honestly think he did this so that he could show them just how GOd picks you up when you fall. that on your own, you cannot tell people that "you're like this you're like that you're wrong i'm right" because we're all created in the image and likeness of Christ. because we do not have the right to judge. Paul told them "i was like this. i did this. but because of the power of the Holy Spirit, because of the blood of Christ, i am free. i am not a slave. i am forgiven."
it hurts when you are judged by your weaknesses.
but that's it... people see the small black dot and not the clear white page it is drawn on.
like how people see the marilyn monroe mole-- and not the five dimples-- i have on my face. cmon man, i'm a darn golf ball. five abnormalities on my face! hek.
i am most honest when i write. i hope that this is really the case every time... but i try to be exactly who i am at that moment when i write... because you can't just do that in real life. with people you have to hold back. with some you have to always be careful, because they're too sensitive or too strong. with people YOU have to adjust... you can't expect them to adjust to you. adjust without sacrificing your faith and what you believe in.
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me, talking to mars: ablahblahblah.. tapos ganon and then ganon tapos ayun.
maui, after patting my head (why do people always do this?): ang aga aga ang daldal daldal mo na!
nye! hindi lang ako madaldal pag tulog.. o umuulan. hehe.
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umuwi si dad from korea today. di pa rin siya pinapansin ni mommy.
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SHOCKED..
lethargic.
nostalgic.
sniffling.
SNOOPerstar.